it's jokes
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
Yo mamma is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
Yo mama so fat, when she got on the scale it said, “I need your weight, not your phone number.”
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.
I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.
Guys, stop joking about 9/11. It's just plane wrong.
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
Your forehead is so big that I could draw the map of the world on it.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson live in a Barbie world?
A: ♫He's made of plastic, it's fantastic!♪
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Your hairline is so far back that it made every country on earth disappear.
Your hairline's so far back, you need binoculars to see it.
Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it.
Today I feel diving. Today I feel penalty. Today I feel tap in. Today I feel ghosting. Today I feel finished. Today I feel a bench warmer... I know what it feels to be discriminated... I was bullied because I am Pristiano Penaldo.
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)
My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby
And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)
What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved.