it's jokes

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-

Sister, you're ugly.

Other sister: I'm not your reflection.

PS. Sorry if it is not funny.

Your hairline pushed too far back.

Lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith :D

Proof that 9/11 isn't a government plot.

It worked.

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

Why is the USA so bad at chess? It already lost 2 towers.

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.

Yo momma's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.

I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

I was going to tell a joke about a mirror, but it seems that I'm looking at one.

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

2 7 73 53.

I'll give you time, figure it out.

What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

It was just a big hunter killer drone.

Why couldn't the orphan go on the school field trip?

Because it required a parent's signature.

Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.

I started debating whether or not suicide is a good option. Self-harm just hasn’t been cutting it lately.

To whoever you are, you are loved.

Why is Jupiter so big? Because it works out!