it's jokes
Why did the T-Rex not clap when you won a prize?
Because it's dead.
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
I told the ugly friend in my friend group that when they daydream, they shouldn't picture themselves because it will just ruin it.
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.
It was an important knockout game for Al Nassr. I came to Riyad to see my idol Cristiano Ronaldo play. It was my dream for a long time. I took a cab to the stadium, but the driver dropped me off at a haunted house instead.
As soon as I entered the house, I saw a ghost, but the very next moment I realized it's my idolo Ronaldo. Thank you Ronaldo for meeting me!
⚠️I’m not racist it’s just a joke⚠️
What do you call four black ppl in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
How many emos does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None, because they just cry in the darkness.
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.