IT jokes

Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?

Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.

Your forehead is so big I could use it to get free TV.

Q. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

A. Because it has a silent pee.

I am thinking of removing my spine.

It's only holding me back.

Why does this website have a home page? It's an orphan joke waiting to happen.

I was about to change my password to Fire-Fist Ace... but apparently it was too weak.

What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.

When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.

What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

What type of phones do orphans have?

IPhone XR—it has no home button.

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

I went to the store and bought Minecraft Java Edition.

I found a village, burned it down, and then I went home and played Minecraft.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.

Why was 10 afraid?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Why is an orphan crying about its family?

Because it can't "let it go."

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.