IT jokes
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
What was the score to the African basketball game? It was 8-0.
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
Zion is so big, when he walks it's an earthquake.
Stop it why offends... asf.
I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
Dark humor is like cancer, it's funnier when children get it.
Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.
Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.
You call it death. I call it peace and quiet.
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut for me.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the roof of a Walmart, it lowered the prices.