IT jokes
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said, "You should be proud of your sister." I asked why. They told me it was the best that they ever had, and we got your sister a trophy.
So I went home, my sister said, "Look at my trophy I earned." The trophy said "The Best Blow Jobs." As a bro, I couldn’t be more prouder.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.
What would they do? Go to their family?
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.
You know how 7 ate 9? Why was 10 scared? It's because he was in the middle of 9/11. 🤣
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
I built a website for an orphanage, but it had no homepage.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
It is not funny about kidnapping.
A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.
I made a website on orphans, sadly it didn't have a homepage.
One day, Little Johnny came home with his girlfriend and told his dad, "We're gonna go to my room and do some homework." His dad said okay. Five minutes later, Little Johnny's dad heard noises coming from his room, so he went to go see what it was, and all he heard was, "Baby, baby, oh, baby, baby, oh." Little Johnny's dad started banging on the door and said, "Little Johnny, what are you doing in there?" Then Little Johnny said, "Dad, we're just having sex." Then Little Johnny's dad said, "Oh, I thought you were listening to some Justin Bieber up in here."
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.