IT jokes
What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?
"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Kid 2: Why?
Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.
Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.
Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.