IT jokes
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
Your hairline is still missing, even Dora can’t explore it!
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
If Jesus was real, they wouldn’t call it the crucifixion. They would call it crucifact.
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Because every show has a cast. Get it, LOL?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want; it won't chase you.
My dick's so big, I stuck it in your mom's loose hole.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.
Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?
Because it's the Mother and Father Land.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a monster truck she turned it into a lowrider.
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.