IT jokes
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Your hairline is so close to Earth, it's 100 million lightyears away!
What did the people in 9/11 say when they got the wrong pizza? Man, they got it wrong, I wanted this shitty plane!
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
How dare you people make 9/11 jokes? It's just "plane" rude!
I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us.
It’s been a few weeks, and it's clear that you do not have that sense.
Why were the terrorists upset on 9/11? bcz 1 of the 4 missed its target.
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."