IT jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Joe mama so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said "to be continued."
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
Yo mama so fat, she sat on my dick and broke it.
I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Your hairline is so pushed back, it's looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."