Interpretation jokes

So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Is she saying, "Watch for red flags because he's toxic," or is he socialist?

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

I rule my women with an IRON FIST!!

Yeah, literally an iron that my fist is clenching against her face.

I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?

My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.

Now we wait...

My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.

Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?

Person: Big black what?

Riddler: ...

Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.

What do you call a group of emo people?

"The Suicide Squad."

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?

Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.

It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.

"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.

What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

"I like ya cut G" means two different things.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."

I shot her, now we wait.