So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
Insurance Jokes
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
"MERCURY INSURANCE, come to our office in Mercury."
A boy and his mother survived a car crash.
The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
What do you take care of after a car crash?
The witnesses.
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Was he under insurance claim?
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
