Insult jokes
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
Your dad has a huge PP.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
You are short.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
You know all these hairline jokes are good but are very rude, but your hairline is built like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Roses are red, violets are blue. You belong in a zoo, but don't worry, I'll be there too. Just not in a cage, I'll be laughing at you.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby together, it would be a turd covered in semen.
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
Your mama's breath smells so bad, people can't wait for her to fart.
What is the definition of clapped?
Ur mum when I am in her bed.
What did the pen say to the pencil?
The pen said, "You're pointy."
Your hairline so back it caused 9/11.
Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
There are 10 million million million million million million million million particles in da universe that we can observe.
Yo mama took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I was born pretty, what happened to you?
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.