Insult jokes

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

Your dad's a cunt.

You're so ugly, even the Twin Towers got a better upgrade than you!

Yo mama so ugly, when she tried to enter an ugly contest, they said they didn't allow professionals.

Yo mama so fat, she don't need the internet because she is already worldwide.

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.

Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!

Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"

Yo mamma's so fat no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.

Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.

Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.

Ur mom gay dab.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

If ugliness was a brick, you would be the Great Wall of China.

Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.

If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to your ego, and then jump down to your IQ.