INS jokes
Mom: Son, did you go to school?
Son: What if I said yes?
Mom: You are in school! *slap*
Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.
Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(
Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.
Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!
Son: Good.
Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?
If you like it, please commit down.
If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
when someone says to cheer up: you, I never thought of that. :)
-> in reality, :( (sob)
depression is no game, and here in this world, we are here for each other, although at times it might not seem like it.
Keep strong, and you'll find the end of the tunnel, but ending the pain and being gone just spreads depression.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
----> [] get in the door.
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?
Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?
This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.
*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*
what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?
I don't bowl.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.