INS jokes
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣
What does a priest and a male homosexual have in common?
They both like to suck a big cock inside the men's locker room at the gym.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
Q: Why don’t orphans have a personality?
A: They don’t have a person in reality!
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"
Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):
"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"
Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Why can’t Michael Jackson win a race?
Because he’s always coming in a lil’ behind.
Did you know the "w" in Africa stands for water?
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.