In the Middle of jokes

Why was 10 afraid?

Because he was in the middle of 9 and 11.

Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?

It went with the traffic jam.

What's funny is that I am typing this in the middle of a document... WAIT JENGA!!!!!!!

Why was 10 so scared?

He was in the middle of 9/11.

There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"

She replies with, "These are my headlights."

He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."

So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."

Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"

If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.

There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.

A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.

In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”

I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.

Why is that a joke?

Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.

Why is that a joke?

Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?

Why is that a joke?

She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.

No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.

Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.

- Why is that flight waiting at 30,000 feet height?

- One tire became flat. They are changing it in the middle of the journey.

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.

My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"

Josh: Cookies.

Jacob: My parents.

Erika: My Friends!

Brody: Lamborghinis.

Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)

My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!

*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....

Wait till the end.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.

But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!

Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"

Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"

Hello Honey Bunches, it's me, Your Narrator. I was told by my buddy youthpartorryan he's in the middle of a war... I may be super wholesome but war against my buddy? Ho ho ho, no! A STORM IS COMING. #BestFriends

Why was 10 scared?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.