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If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!

What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?

Soaked...

Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?

A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.

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    • Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

    So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

    The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

    She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

    Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

    So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

    So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

    How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!

    What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!

    What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

    If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

    Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”

    Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”

    Three guys walk into a bar: one Asian, one American, one Black.

    A girl walks in and says if all three of your D*** sizes don't add up to 12 inches, I will shoot you.

    First comes the American with 3 inches, then the Black man with 8.

    It totals out to 11 and they look at the Asian and say "Oh no."

    He comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve.

    She walks away and says ok.

    The Asian says, "You're lucky she was hot, so I had a boner!"

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    • How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

    When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

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    • If you like this kind of stuff, then sub to my YouTube channel: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCMmYegHG5zb6Kj9hIQk5Y2g

    Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

    Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.

    The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!

    If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

    Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.

    Hi, I...

    Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.

    The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?

    Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.

    Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?