Idiot

Idiot Jokes

Trend

You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?

Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.

Mouth

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Member

Old members come back, we’re bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.

Light Bulb

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

Roadkill

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

Fresh roadkill.

Dog

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

The chicken.

The chicken who?

*Silence*

Wife

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, β€œShe was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, β€œChange the damn diaper, you idiot.”

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  • Mom

    Why did the idiot post so many 9/11 jokes?

    Answer: Because his mom is a whore!

    Chicken

    Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

    Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.

    Guy

    Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?

    Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!

    Author

    FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

    Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.

    Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.

    Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.

    Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.

    Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.

    Oh God By Dixie Rect.

    Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.

    Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.

    Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.

    How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.

    Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.

    The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.

    Fridge

    A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?

    Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.

    How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?

    Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.

    How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?

    Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.

    Why did Sally fall off the swing?

    Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.

    How did she survive?

    Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.

    School

    I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

    Skeleton

    Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?

    Me: He could feel it in his bones.

    Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!

    Heheh ;3