Identity jokes
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
I am Araf, and I am clumsy.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
Why do gays get bad grades?
They don't get straight A's.
Imagine being gay like Joe Mama!
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
I am a joke.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
What do you call a flat emo girl?
A cutting board.
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.