What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."
when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"
I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
You are the gayest.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
Bisexuals aren’t gay.
Bisexuals aren’t straight.
They’re graight! 😂
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
