Identity jokes
They say people are 75% water.
But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.
The more emos there are, the less emos there are.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
Is a selfie of an orphan a self-portrait or family photo?
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"
And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"
In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
What did Grant say? "I'm gay."
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?
When your girlfriend tells you she's a guy: "What, bitch? Naw, hell no!"
Who am I?