Identity jokes
My teacher says no phones allowed. I say my phone is allowed because I’m nobody, Dania.
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Bro, I'm so gay I can't even spell straight.
What's the difference between Autism and Gender?
Autism is on a spectrum.
If gay means happy, then I'm extremely homophobic.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Normal people: I'm my own nationality.
Michael Jackson: Click here to change nationality.
What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
They say people are 75% water.
But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.
The more emos there are, the less emos there are.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.
So, I went up to an emo and I said, "Why did you steal my bar code from my chips?"
What's the difference between being gay and straight? Well, it is the hole.
Is a selfie of an orphan a self-portrait or family photo?
Why can't an orphan be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"
And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"