Identity jokes
Why did Jesus create the Devil?
He didn't recognize himself through the time portal.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have nobody to call "daddy."
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?
Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth?"
Girl, scan the code on your wrist.
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."
Ayo fake guy.
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's technically a family photo. :)
I'm not racist, but the Ku Klux Klan look all the same to me.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I'm not a robot, but orphans are.
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.
What is an emo's least favorite game? Fruit Ninja.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.