Hypothetical jokes

The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?

Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?

Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.

Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?

Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.

Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.

What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?

Her dad didn't beat cancer.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?

My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.

My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?

A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.