Hypothetical jokes
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.
Now ain't that cool?
If Martin Luther King were white, what would they call him?
Alive.
If Asriel were Sans, would his theme be "Jokes and Memes"?
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?
If you could add one zero to any number for the rest of your life, what would it be and why?
The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
My father taught me a lesson of sex in a hypothetical way.
My stepmother gave me a lesson [on] how [it] is going inside?
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
Community talk
A black hole is a region in space where gravity is so strong that nothing, not even light, can escape from it, usually forming when a massive star collapses under its own gravity at the end of its life. The boundary around it is called the event horizon, and once anything crosses this boundary, it cannot return. Black holes are mainly described by their mass, spin, and electric charge, and they come in several types,… Read more
What if the metal gear was solid?
Hypothetically. How would you react if I stopped talking anymore because hypothetically someone told me I was annoying as fuck.