Humans jokes

What is the difference between a human and a magic car 🚗?

A magic car can fly, and a house 🏡 cannot fly.

Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.

Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......

Human: :D

Sun: I want to BuRn you.........

Human: .......

Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....

Human: I should be going now.

Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!

Human: *Screams his last sound*

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

How does a cannibal like his meat?

Human.

What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.

What is the difference between a human being in the car?

What is the difference between a human and a tree?

And walk, walk home, and...

God- make a grumpy old man president.

Angel- why?

G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

A- okay.

G- make him not pay taxes.

A- okay...

Fast forward to 2020

G- you know that grumpy old man?

A- yea...

G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

A- Krona.

G- exactly.

A- why do you hate humans so much?

G- because I can.

What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.

What did all the humans say when all the pets left town?

A doggone catastrophe!

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

What is the difference between a human and walk home from school and walk home?

What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?

What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.

What is the difference between a human being and a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree 🌳?

What is the difference between a human being and a tree?

Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?

So he could querk.

Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

What is the difference between a human and a burger?