Humans jokes

Difference

What is the difference between a human and a magic car πŸš—?

A magic car can fly, and a house 🏑 cannot fly.

Shark

Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.

Sun

Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......

Human: :D

Sun: I want to BuRn you.........

Human: .......

Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....

Human: I should be going now.

Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!

Human: *Screams his last sound*

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  • Butcher

    First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

    HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

    Memes

    Bed

    What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.

    President

    God- make a grumpy old man president.

    Angel- why?

    G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

    A- okay.

    G- make him not pay taxes.

    A- okay...

    Fast forward to 2020

    G- you know that grumpy old man?

    A- yea...

    G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

    A- Krona.

    G- exactly.

    A- why do you hate humans so much?

    G- because I can.

    Meat

    What is one thing humans do before they eat?

    They beat their meat to make nuggets.

    Human

    What is the difference between a human and walk home from school and walk home?

    Tree House

    What is the difference between a human being and a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree 🌳?

    Neck

    Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."