Humans jokes

Human

What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.

Difference

What is the difference between a human and a magic car πŸš—?

A magic car can fly, and a house 🏑 cannot fly.

School

Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?πŸ˜’ You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...

Shark

Humans and sharks have something in common: the great ones are always white.

Sun

Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......

Human: :D

Sun: I want to BuRn you.........

Human: .......

Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....

Human: I should be going now.

Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!

Human: *Screams his last sound*

Memes

Butcher

First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"

HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"

Bed

What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.

President

God- make a grumpy old man president.

Angel- why?

G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

A- okay.

G- make him not pay taxes.

A- okay...

Fast forward to 2020

G- you know that grumpy old man?

A- yea...

G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

A- Krona.

G- exactly.

A- why do you hate humans so much?

G- because I can.

Meat

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

Human

What is the difference between a human and walk home from school and walk home?

Tree House

What is the difference between a human being and a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree house that is a tree tree 🌳?