Humans jokes
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...
Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!
What is the difference between a human being and a tree?
A human being can walk, and a tree can’t walk.
What is the difference between human rights and the rights of a human being in?
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human being is the one who can drive.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
Please don't make a joke about me; I'm just a human.
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
I'm a human.
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach?
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
Once upon a time, a donkey was in the jungle. Suddenly, he found a lion costume and then wore it. Then he walked around the forest, and every animal was scared of him. Then he got to the city, and every human was away from him. He was chasing them when he was chasing his owner. He brayed, and then they figured out that this was not a real lion, and then he told everybody about it. Then he berated his donkey.
What is the difference between a human being and a tree?
A human can walk and a tree cannot walk.
What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?
A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.