Hows jokes
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.
How do spiders reach the internet?
Through the World Wide Web!
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
How do oysters call their friends? On shell phones!
How do you confuse a fish? Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone pulled his ethernet cable (he died of a blue screen)!
Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?
How's it going @#$!