Howe jokes

Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs.

A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.

How dairy!

How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

How do stars get their name?

By a black hole because it's sueeeee!

How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?

Butter.

Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.

All they will talk about is how great their family is.

How do I make my dick disappear?

I put it in your dad.

How many foster parents does each orphan have?

One half.

Sup guys, how are you?

How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?

It's not hard.

Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.

How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?

– Sí...

See deez nuts!

You have five seconds to kill me. 1... 2... 3... 4... Thank you. I can rest now. WAIT, HOW AM I TALKING?????????????????????

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.

What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?

Perform fellatio on gay men.

How are orphans and apples different?

One gets picked.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come home.