The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
A 9 year old year girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breath as she waits for the doctor to come. The doctor finally comes and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off? He's all right now
Man with cancer: How much time do I have left? Doctor: Ten. Man: Weeks? Months? Days? Doctor Nine, eight, seven...
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
Have you heard about the baby with cancer? It never gets old
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital the front desk always asks where are you parents
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out. "He doesn't love me anymore!!" The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because ,most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis' the officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
Technoblade: makes jokes about orphans while in hospital
Doctors to Technoblade's dad: Sorry for your loss
Technoblade: What do you mean?? I'm right here!!
Orphans found parents: Who's he talking to??
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
What's long and not very hairy?
The conga line at the cancer department.
I got evicted from the hospital today For telling all the patients to stay positive! What a negative effect!
I have cancer the doctor said I have 3 days to live but I was like fuck it and killed him the jury said I have life in prison I shouted yes he said thank you you saved my life
A child with cancer: I want to be like you when I grow up. Doctor: Oh your not going to grow up.
Your friend lost his left arm and After getting Out of the hospital you ask him if he’s OK He says yeah I’m all RIGHT
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said “Celsius.”
POV you accidentally get H in your IV drip
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents. " Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white." The mother rushes the boy to the hospital while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm. "How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" He exclaims. The wife looks up at him. "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection."
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh don't worry, mine too!!
Person: Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?
Stranger: Oh, just go Stand in the middle of the road.
