I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
Home Jokes
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
What thing can an orphan do best?
Stay at home alone.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
I fell in love with my teacher.
Which is weird because I am home schooled.
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.
Friend: I don't know.
Me: A black market.
What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”
He hid in her attic.
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.
Why can't Orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.
