Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
What do u call a person with hole in there shoe a. Christian
why did the toilet paper not make it across the street?cause it got stuck in a pot hole:)
What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bath tub? One's got hope in her soul, the others got soap in her hole.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole.
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.
Where was Stephan hawking buried
In a black hole 😂😂
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
Why do golfers bring an extra pear of socks, in case they get a whole in one
I went I saw i poop at hole, i make a portal.
3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, "u would never believe what i discovered." intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. "oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with," i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "oh sh*t...."
Doctor? Can I please have a new butt. My old one has a hole and a crack it it.
A man walks over to a little boy and asks "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?" the little boy replies with "Yes please i love bunnies" The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said can you see it yet?" The little boy curious says "no where is it?" The man says "dig a little deeper he runs into the whole when he gets scared!"
My arse hole hurts like no joke man just had to tell that ur heads a peanut u fucking nonce kyd u fat fuck sack ur mum u dirty cow
How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole
3 men go to hell, Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer you go to heaven. The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers he goes to hell, the next man asks if he knew how to make furniture he goes too, the third man poke a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said " nope this one "😂
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread waiting for a traffic jam
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket
stephen hawking didn't die he got sucked up by the black hole then got sent to the large charger in the sky
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
