Him jokes
Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.
My friend lives in a caravan park. His parents named him Money because they thought it was a type of currency.
My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.
Hey, can I axe you a question?
My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Why was the barber mad because I gave him a buzzcut?
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
Once upon a time, there was a crow with a piece of cheese in its mouth. Then a fox came, and when he saw the piece of cheese, he tried to trick the crow. He said that the crow's voice was beautiful, and then he said he wanted to hear him sing, so the crow started singing, and then the piece of cheese fell out of his mouth. He said never trust anyone, and then he walked away.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."
The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."
Why did my dad leave me and my mum?
I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"
I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."
"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?
Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"