As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
HI Jokes
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
"Where's my tractor?!"
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
An emo went to high five a tree, and it left them hanging.
Why did the slave go to college?
To get his master's degree.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.
Hi guys!
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
A girl walks into an Adult Store. "Hi, I want to buy that red dildo right there."
Cashier: "That's a fire extinguisher, you whore."
