HI jokes

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

What's grosser than gross? A truckload of dead babies.

What's grosser than that? A live one at the bottom.

What's grosser than that? When he eats his way out.

Grosser than that? When he goes back for more.

Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.

The gay kid tried to shoot up the school, but his shots would not go straight.

What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?

Adolf Hit Her.

A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

Why did Helen Keller’s boyfriend have wax on his finger? Because he was whispering sweet nothings into her ear!

Stephen Hawking didn’t die.

His charger broke.

How do you circumcise a redneck?

Kick his sister in the chin.

Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.

Last week, I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a ball. I wondered where it came from, but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you, Penaldo, for almost killing me!

My grandpa said I was too reliant on technology when he saw me on my phone. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it!

There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To end his pain and suffering.

*sans*: Why was the skeleton depressed? Because Frisk keeps resetting and it resets when he lost his phone.

A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.

The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."

Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.

A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

Hi, I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hairdryer.