HI Jokes

How did Voldemort lose his nose?

From uncontrolled Gold Mining!

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

Hi, please like for good luck!

When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.

🅱️haq

The image shows Shaq holding an Icy Hot package with a text that reads: "Shaq uses IcyHot to freeze his mortal enemies and later burn them to ash."

*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.

*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?

I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.

His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"

What did the cell phone say to his wife?

"I will give you a ring."

How do you make a plumber die?

You kill his family.

Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.