HI jokes

When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.

*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.

*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?

I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.

His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."

Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.

Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"

What did the cell phone say to his wife?

"I will give you a ring."

How do you make a plumber die?

You kill his family.

Me on my way to the principal's office after the trans kid told me to act my age, so I told him to act his gender.

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's nonexistent hairline, even though Josh has massive ears and his face looks like a monkey's... if they were white.

Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?

In Iraq.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?

"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)

My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.

What did the hematologist say when his Canadian patient wrote that he's blood type "eh"? "Ah, probably just go with blood typo!"

Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.

What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!

Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.

Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling good.