HI jokes

Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?

Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.

Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.

Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.

Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.

Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?

Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

Stephen Hawking died because his WiFi ran out.

Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.

What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?

"It is ok, I forgive you."

Why did the orphan water his cereal instead of milk?

Their dad never came back with the milk.

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!

Why did the big rose say to the little rose?

"Hi, bud."

One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.

Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

Hi, I'm Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are hee/hee.

I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.

I love working at an orphanage.

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.

He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?

There wasn't enough space to fly it.

A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.

Part 1