HI jokes

Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Where did the king put his armies?

In his sleevies.

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

What type of bee can't make up his mind?

A maybe.

When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?

To see his closest relatives.

His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.

He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!

How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.

"Hi, this is Pete's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce."

The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

What did Steven Harkens have to eat?

His shoulders.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.