Hi Friend jokes

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

Why did the tomato cross the road?

To ketchup with his friends on the other side.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

What does an Emo do with his friends?

Literally hanging out.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.

TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."

His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."

Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?

Because his parents wouldn't let him.

Why was the PUBG player sad?

Since all his friends went to school while he went to Pochinki.

Literally every movie:

"I love you." "I love you, too."

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶

Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.

So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."

Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?

A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"

Don't make fun of the emo kid, or he's gonna bring his friends and you gotta fight the Suicide Squad.

What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?

"We are Pickle Ricks!"

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?

The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.