When ur fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now u gotta fight the suicide squd
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why did the noble gas cry?
Because all his friends Argon.
Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh.. I thought you saw inside the basement.."
"Wait, wha.."
"What?"
There was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother "Mom can little girls have babies " his mom answered "of course not" a few minutes later his mom heard him shout to his friend "it's okay we can keep playing
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "now were not even allowed to do that."
Why did potassium draw a tear that would consult in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon
Jesus and his friend went fishing they both cast the line out and both of them get a bite but Jesus's friend misses and says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's a bad sentence to say if you say it 3 time something bad will happen to you" they cast it out again and both get a bite and Jesus's friend misses again and says "damn I missed" jesus replied "if you say that one more time something bad will happen" they cast out again and Jesus's friends line snaps and he says "damn I missed" jesus said "that's the last time something bad will happen" the biggest thunder storm ever seen appeared and a lightning bolt struck jesus and a voice came from the clouds "damn I missed"
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Lego figures from his friend but they ran way too.
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends I milk a cow and it took awhile for it to warm up and his brother came over and said we don't have cows we have Bulls
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and reg stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.
One day a man was fixing a car, an he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like "dude, this can't be healthy." But he said "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
