Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
Hey! Guess what? I created a new word!
Plagiarism!
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
Hey, I met you like way way back, just like your hairline.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?
It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?
Dad: . . .
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."
Her: "No."
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Hey, I misplaced 2.1 trillion a few days ago, on September 7th, 2001.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."
