A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Yo mama so ugly that when she was born, the doctor looked at her face, then at her butt and said, "Twins!"
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
There was a boy named Sammy, and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne. But she didn’t notice him or talk to him. But one day, she did, and they end up liking each other and getting married and lived happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy snuck in Rayne’s house at night and kidnapped her, locked her in his basement, and turned her into a puppet so she'd be with him forever and ever. The End.
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.
what came first, The apple or the girl? The apple, because the tree left her hanging :)
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
