Herring jokes

Yo mama is so big, her belt size is "equator."

Yo momma's so fat, it takes her 1,000,000 hours on the toilet.

Yo mama's so fat that even Dora don't have time to explore her!

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?

“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

Your mom is so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back!

Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.

What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?

Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.

Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”

DAMN YOU PESSI!

Yo mama so OLD...

Her first Christmas... WAS the FIRST CHRISTMAS!

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."