Herring jokes

Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion, but her joke was crap.

Me: "Hey, get my joke on that timeline."

Her: "No."

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

Yo mama's so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.