Herring jokes
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
Memes
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
I was going to listen to a funny comment about abortion, but her joke was crap.