Herring jokes

Yo mama is so fat that her belt size is the equator.

Yo mama so fat that when she went on the scale, it showed her phone number.

Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.

Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.

Yo mama's so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

Me: You have pretty eyes.

Her: Thank you.

Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.

Yo mama so fat, every time she measures her carbon footprint the website breaks.