Herring jokes

How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.

The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.

Why didn’t the grape 🍇 leave her family?

Because she loved raisin' kids!

I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.

Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.

What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?

"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"

If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?

So she claims to be.

And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.