Herring Jokes

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

When you see your mom.

Me: bruh

Her: Are you serious right now bro?

Me: Yeah no shit.

Her: *slaps me*

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

The image is a two-panel comic. The first panel shows a man advising another man to say to a woman: "You're an 8 on a scale of 10." The second panel shows the man instead saying to the woman: "Urinate on a skeleton."

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"

So I threw my dictionary at her.

Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.

Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!

Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???