Herring jokes

When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.

So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

I got home one day and a Spanish guy, white guy, black guy told me that your sister knows her meats.

She won a trophy. We blindfolded her, then my sister said, "Yeah, I was blindfolded, and I gave all three of them blowjobs and I had to guess which flavor of the meat it was."

The Trophy said Best Blowjobs. As a brother, I couldn't be prouder.

Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.

Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!

Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.

Yo mama's so fat that the earth used to be flat before they buried her.

A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."

"Rapeboat momma" on OnlyFans. Rapeboat is her number one sub.

Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.

Yo mama so short, she went to see Santa and he told her to get back to work!

Yo momma so fat, her ankle broke and gravy poured out.

My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.

Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

Yo mama so dumb, when a kid told her to “give her a fag,” she kidnapped Ricardo!

How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!

What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!

Yo mama so fat, her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count.

It's this girl named Deaf, what a weird name, but I know that 'cause I was ear hustling.

But anyway, everytime I call her, she doesn't answer. I wanna clap some cheeks tonight, how could she hate me when she don't know me?

Hey, I broke up with your girl.

-Me: What? Why?

Wait, what?

-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.