Did you hear about the new Chinese food? It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died. The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!" He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something. Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
Wanna hear a joke,my life hahahah just kidding jokes actually mean something...
Friend: wana hear a joke
other Friend: sure
Friend: pussy
other Friend: i dont get it
Friend: and you never will
Chocolate rain Some stay dry and others feel the pain Chocolate rain A baby born will die before the sin Chocolate rain The school books say it can't be here again Chocolate rain The prisons make you wonder where it went Chocolate rain Build a tent and say the world is dry Chocolate rain Zoom the camera out and see the lie Chocolate rain Forecast to be falling yesterday Chocolate rain Only in the past is what they say Chocolate rain Raised your neighborhood insurance rates Chocolate rain Makes us happy 'livin in a gate Chocolate rain Made me cross the street the other day Chocolate rain Made you turn your head the other way Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain Seldom mentioned on the radio Chocolate rain It's the fear your leaders call control Chocolate rain Worse than swearing worse than calling names Chocolate rain Say it publicly and you're insane Chocolate rain No one wants to hear about it now Chocolate rain Wish real hard it goes away somehow Chocolate rain Makes the best of friends begin to fight Chocolate rain But did they know each other in the light? Chocolate rain Every February washed away Chocolate rain Stays behind as colors celebrate Chocolate rain The same crime has a higher price to pay Chocolate rain The judge and jury swear it's not the face Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain Dirty secrets of economy Chocolate rain Turns that body into GDP Chocolate rain The bell curve blames the baby's DNA Chocolate rain But test scores are how much the parents make Chocolate rain Flippin' cars in France the other night Chocolate rain Cleans the sewers out beneath Mumbai Chocolate rain 'Cross the world and back it's all the same Chocolate rain Angels cry and shake their heads in shame Chocolate rain Lifts the ark of paradise in sin Chocolate rain Which part do you think you're livin' in? Chocolate rain More than marchin', more than passing law Chocolate rain Remake how we got to where we are Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again Chocolate rain History quickly crashing through your veins Chocolate rain Using you to fall back down again
A Story:
I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heared scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police. But it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again. But this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby. Certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.
Sequel follows...
1) did you hear the one about the school shooting- Actually I better not...... You wouldn't understand it's aimed more towards a younger audience 2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9 so why was 10 scared because it was in between 9-11 3) 10 dead babies
Did you hear about the racist sprinkler? It kept going: Spick spick spick Chink chink chink!
I was crying at school and telling my friends that my grandpa died. Then I told them I still remember his last words, they wanted to hear them. They are: you still holding the ladder
Did you hear about the new pixar movie, it's about cancer patients. It's called finding Kemo
Once Jimmy was minding his own business then he hears his mom comes home he asked "where have you been?" she replied with "I was at work" yet he knew his mom did not have work so the next day while heading to school he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant and they want to try there device and they need the baby dad to say if its alright
hi im knew hear and im 11 im just bored and want a gf. does any one have snap or twitter? ic show u wat i look like ;)
dissabled man stands up blind man says you can stand? deaf man you can see?? mute person you can hear dissabled man you can talk doctor- what the actual fuck
One day when I driving around our children's school with my wife she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did we hear a loud, long scream.
Did you hear about the school shooting joke? Well, I won't tell you it's aimed at a younger audience.
The sun is out and the peado vans are out. Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again.
Perfect dinner joke
Did you hear about the new movie constipated
It hasn’t come out yet
At least 32 people hear love orphans and hate orphan jokes. And I thank all the people who particapate in this protest
Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?
It's about time
want to hear a dad joke. look in the mirror you get the joke.