Healthcare jokes
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
I always park in handicapped spaces at the hospital.
Just to test their patients.
What do you call a fetus with Down syndrome? An abortion.
Abortion is beautiful.
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
If a person kills their counselor, does that mean that they don't need therapy anymore?
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?
They can both be replaced.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
Why did the doctor turn down the orphan?
He was a family physician.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?
Because they need parents' signature.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.