Head jokes

Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!

So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, they decide they don't like living in an asylum anymore. They decide they're going to escape!

So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. You see... You see, he's afraid of falling.

So then, the first guy has an idea... He says "Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says "Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

What was the last thing that went through PH's head?

Water and smoke.

When your plane heads for New York...

I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.

Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.

A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.

So many things are going through my head.

How am I not dead yet?

Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!

Take a step back... just like your hairline did.

"I have a three-head."

"I have a four-head."

Bald people have a seven-head.

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

Good Morning, Sleepy-Head!

My mom told me to be positive...

I was heading to an HIV test.

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?

"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."

Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.